lost

Exactly twenty-eight days after 2010 has kicked in. I've been drawing a picture of what I like my life to be this year long before the so-called magical display of fireworks. To my dismay, I am always left with this empty blank sheet and an annoyingly blinking cursor. Lately, I have doubled the effort to scribble down these words parading inside my thoughts but my mind works faster than my pen. I miss a lot of things. I miss the feelings, the people and the life that used to make me write. I am no more than an inspiring phrase trapped inside an uninspired body. Where am I going?

escalating stress

Policy, puso, pakiramdam------
Recently, I was tasked to take in escalated calls which I really hate to do since I'm not confident about it. They said it's for my own growth. So one annoying Friday night, "I grew". I had the best advice then...Sa escalation daw, may 3Ps silang sinusunod... Policy, Puso, Pakiramdam. I learned.

"You have the potential, you just need to have the desire.."

So my supervisor is lifting my leg for my own advancement. Good or Bad?

Arghh..I still hate what I do.

Go Away!

Stop shaking my foundation down.
Do not appear in my dreams.
Loiter not on my thoughts.
Hide...when in my reluctance,
I sought.

Walk fast my mind if I stalk.
Pour the rain should the sun draw
your shadow.
Bring autumn,
for feelings come spring may further grow.

Shy me away if beside you I dock.
or simply melt
if I study you like Sherlock.
But if your face persists to pry
Let me stop my heart...
Just let love die.

Heartbreak

I was sitting on my station one jaded day when team mates showed me what they had browsed at. A sudanese girl fainted out of starvation on her way to a feeding center while just a meter away, landed a vulture waiting for the young girl to die so it can eat her. The photo was taken by a photographer Kevin Carter who committed suicide months after.

"The pain of life overrides the joy to the point that joy does not exist"
Kevin Carter, Fragment of his suicide note

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It was heartbreaking:(

I scowled because I had no shoes on my feet, until further down the street I saw a man with no feet at all.
Persian proverb