I Love the way That I loved you....

It has been seven hours since I sat, jaded, on my work station. My mind is shrinking away from thoughts that remind me of pain and gloom. The surroundings...so still and quiet as office mates desert their own places after a work's done, left me with more corners where boredom creeps in.

My workplace has emulated a pace of heaven and hell. Less pressure on weekends but more like the latter on weekdays...stressful, over-demanding, disappointing. It's like a big window where outside your dream stares at you yet it is so distant..unreachable for a while..I was lost in thoughts. "Saving forever for you..." there were series of words, scenarios parading inside my head. My friend, sitting just right beside me was singing the song and it interrupted my reverie, somewhat a snap back in reality. I am LSS with the song. I mean we, since I recently noticed how everyone is desperately humming the song without an end "You are the only one I ever give forever to..." as if it would bring that dreamy love to life.

Seven years ago, I experienced the kind of love I wanted myself to feel...pure, deep and true. I was one of the freshmen then and he was a junior. My college years, I must say, were perfect since I used to be a freshman AB Communication Arts stude who transferred to that school, I've got the spotlight focused on me. Some found my way abnormal. I was a freshman sitting in to LAw4 instead of enrolling to my LAW1 subject. Then one busy school day, I saw him like I never laid eyes to anyone in the school. He has almond eyes that pierced right through you when he stares and has hair that dances with the wind. He is tall, 6" I guess. I wondered then how it felt like to be standing beside a man who was stalked by all admiring eyes. I wondered forever.

Have you ever got the feeling like you were comforted with clouds? It was mid day then. I remember myself staring down the banister looking after him. He was standing beside his maroon car under the sturdy swaying Indian tree. Right now, It was still clear how terrible the feeling was way back then. It was awful. I was there standing lost, trying to hold my heart in place while he was there living unaware of my presence. On his every waking hour, our world seemed to fully astray yet all the more I fell in love with him. The school parking lot had been a very pensive poignant rendezvous I've ever known in my entire life. I used to pass that way everyday then since it connects the main building and the library. It was like an endless traipse of pain. I get my heart broken everyday and whenever I sat on that crowded library, I camouflaged a bookworm thriving a worn-out heart. Beside the lot resides the opened-wall pantry. It's even sadder when I got to see those Indian trees standing side by side and how magnificent they were when rain fell on them but much more wonderful when it started to paint his shadow on a rare sunny day.

My junior year came quite fast. We became classmates in one of my marketing classes while sitting two seats apart. The hours were longer than my usual subjects since the class only had Saturdays then. I loved Saturdays only that it was incredibly painful to be just inches away with him yet felt so distant. It was a grand chance for me though to ever sat on that room and study him all for myself. I memorized the way he laughed and how his brows poetically curved into a sudden thought. His lips were like oasis that produced reluctant flow of words. I was puzzled as how I could stand so strong beside him and have knees that trembled all at the same time. My heart beats too loud yet love was so silent he could not even hear a single beat. I fancied him and all the loopholes God gave the guy. He was a detail from the past etched until the future.

I don't know why but for some unknown reason, it always rained then. It was mesmerizing specially the part where the rain fell on a velvety leaf until the leaf slowly deserted the stem. Ironically, there was not a single chance in the past when I thought of just opening my hands and learning to take it easy on myself. I never let go then no matter how the feeling crippled a portion of myself. I was right. Rain drops were like needles where my heart was a cushion. On that same year, July was already a senior. I had his conversing eyes drawn inside my mind to maintain the thin line of happiness days after the parting. It was not a stupid idea masochistic enough to define me. Inexplicably, the more I recognized that I was in love with him, the more I felt better of myself. Maybe, what made it so special was that it was one-sided...too far from the used-to-it syndrome or neither returning the favor. It was this feeling that the love came from the heart, thrived from my soul. I wanted to hold on as long as I can. I've taken all my chances...all of them.

***

A few month's back, a friend asked me whether I've known unconditional love. "Never" I answered. Then I was lip sealed. Damn, how can I not expound on an answer I have given. I didn't know myself being tacit. Indifference. Days after, while I was walking off from work, It hit me. I realized I have found the great love every one of us should have in our lifetime. The thing is, it does not necessarily ends happy. I don't remember anymore how I've gotten over him. Maybe a gallivanting heart helps. I still recognize his face though, whenever I bump into some things that belonged to his world..continuously shaking my foundations down:(

Then one boring day, I was able to chat with an old college friend. "I've got bad news.." She said. "He got married, I know." I typed. I can't remember how the conversation ended but I found myself shortly after, peaking through the guy's face book account. Everything confirmed the reality I've tried to ignore for so long since I heard the news of him getting married...

"I like the feel of your name on my lips
and I like the sound of your sweet gentle kiss..."

He wears his coat and gently, his lips curve a smile. I never seen him almost exploding into happiness. His eyes still turn into slits and his face so ethereal is nothing but a declaration of him bidding goodbye to a bachelor life. I don't know..I'm not sure where I got all the courage to watch the wedding video numerous times but it holds something indistinct about me. I didn't get hurt. I certainly passed that stage already. Maybe it's the special feeling of seeing the person you always loved and though in the absence of a happy ending, you still can stand tall and shout to the world how you fell in love with the same person without a tinge of bitterness.

" the way that your fingers run through my hair
and how your scent lingers even when you're not there.."

Things are poignant. I could just sit and stare at your face and feel all the emotions I can think of. I can cry and smile and be pensive all at the same time. For the longest time, You had been the life that I wake up to. The man that used to fill up my dreams and the credible truth behind my instinct. I still have not met anyone who could supply all the feelings that you unconsciously delivered directly to me. I missed falling so deeply in to someone's soul. I missed the love I felt when I met you.

"I like the way your eyes dance when you laugh,
and how you enjoy your two- hour bath...
and how you convince me to dance through the rain while
everyone's watching like we were insane..."

Everything ended three months ago. July married a special girl made by God intentionally for him. As always, I kept the place where I used to be...standing at bay while pensively watching the debris of what I used to dream. You, drawn through my eyes... a never ending surreal story of a one-sided love.

My Pussy red fingernails.

Random thoughts on my way home:

1. Positive thoughts will make positive things happen.

2. One hell of a good day.

3. A writer is always a reader but a reader may not always be a writer.

4. Attract good things.

5. "I was transferred from a terrible automated system to awesome stephanie system."

6. I've met the best interviewer I've ever known so far

7. Saw this movie again while waiting sleeplessly in one particular recruitment hub.
George: [on phone] Michael's chasing Kimmy?
Julianne: [on phone] Yes!
George: [on phone] You're chasing Michael?
Julianne: [on phone] Yes!
George: [on phone] Who's chasing you? Nobody. Get it! There's your answer. Kimmy.

8. Yes, it's 2010!

Paboritong Akda Mula Kay Bob Ong

"Hindi para sa tamad ang pagsusulat. Lahat kasi ng aspeto ng trabaho nakaasa sa'yo. Ikaw ang boss at ikaw din ang tauhan. Alam nila pareho kung natulog lang maghapon ang isa't-isa, pag nag-AWOL ang boss at nagdesisyong mag mental bungee jumping, automatic na on-leave din ang tauhan. Tigil ang produksyon.

Hindi para sa tamad and pagsusulat. Hindi mo maloloko ang time card ng opisina. Hindi ka mareregular. Walang promotion. Walang 13th month. Walang bonus. NO work, no pay. Walang half-day, walang holiday. Walang overtime pay. Wala man lang perks o company give away. Walang Christmas Party. Walang outing. Wala kang trabaho. Wala ka man lang nasabihang bad trip ka kay boss bukod sa kamay mong drinowingan mo ng mukha.

Hindi para sa tamad ang pagsusulat. Buong kumpanya nakaasa sa'yo. Wala kang ibang paghuhugutan ng sipag, tiyaga, at determinasyon kundi sarili mo. Walang deduction sa late o absences dahil ang usapan lang lagi ay kung may natapos ka o wala. Piece work wage. Walang mga palusot na kailangan dahil wala ring mga palusot na uubra. Wala kang ibang hahagupitin kundi sarili mo, at walang ibang hahagupit sa'yo kundi ikaw. Lahat, self-service.

Hindi para sa tamad ang pagsusulat. Pag binisita ka ng idea, gana, o inspirasyon kailangan mong itigil LAHAT ng ginagawa mo para lang di masayang ang pagkakataon. Walang "sandali lang" o "teka muna." Dahil pag lumagpas ang maikling panahong yon, kahit mag-umpog ka ng ulo sa pader mahihirapan ka ng maghabol.

Hindi para sa tamad ang pagsusulat. Doble ang hirap sa trabaho kung masakit ang ulo mo dahil ulo mismo ang kailangan mo sa trabaho at hindi rin pwede lunurin sa trabaho ang mga naiisip mong problema sa buhay dahil ang mag-isip ang mismong trabaho mo.

HIndi para sa tamad ang pagsusulat. Mata lang ang kailangan ng pintor para malaman kung pangit o maganda ang produkto nya. Tenga lang ang sa musikero. Dila at ilong lang sa kusinero. At dalawang oras lang ang sa mamemelikula. Pero sa manunulat, kailangan nyang basahin ng paulit-ulit at intindihin ang mga naisulat nya para malaman kung nakakaantok, matabang, sintunado, o maputla ang naging resulta.

Hindi para sa tamad ang pagsusulat. Araw-araw may shoot out ang manunulat at ang suki nyang demonyo. May general assembly ang iba't-ibang tao at pokemon sa loob ng ulo nya. At may riot ang mga prinsipyong nasungkit nya noong isang araw at yung mga pilosopiyang napulot nya nung mga nagdaang dekada. Lahat yan mangyayari habang pinipilit nyang maging mas matinong tao ngayon kesa kahapon. Tulad ng magsasakang nagtanim ng palay sa gitna ng gyera.

Hindi para sa tamad ang pagsusulat. Kaaway nya ang ingay, pero kalaban nya rin ang lungkot. Kaya nga nagtataka ako kung pano ko to naging trabaho. "

The One who got away.

lost

Exactly twenty-eight days after 2010 has kicked in. I've been drawing a picture of what I like my life to be this year long before the so-called magical display of fireworks. To my dismay, I am always left with this empty blank sheet and an annoyingly blinking cursor. Lately, I have doubled the effort to scribble down these words parading inside my thoughts but my mind works faster than my pen. I miss a lot of things. I miss the feelings, the people and the life that used to make me write. I am no more than an inspiring phrase trapped inside an uninspired body. Where am I going?

escalating stress

Policy, puso, pakiramdam------
Recently, I was tasked to take in escalated calls which I really hate to do since I'm not confident about it. They said it's for my own growth. So one annoying Friday night, "I grew". I had the best advice then...Sa escalation daw, may 3Ps silang sinusunod... Policy, Puso, Pakiramdam. I learned.

"You have the potential, you just need to have the desire.."

So my supervisor is lifting my leg for my own advancement. Good or Bad?

Arghh..I still hate what I do.

Go Away!

Stop shaking my foundation down.
Do not appear in my dreams.
Loiter not on my thoughts.
Hide...when in my reluctance,
I sought.

Walk fast my mind if I stalk.
Pour the rain should the sun draw
your shadow.
Bring autumn,
for feelings come spring may further grow.

Shy me away if beside you I dock.
or simply melt
if I study you like Sherlock.
But if your face persists to pry
Let me stop my heart...
Just let love die.

Heartbreak

I was sitting on my station one jaded day when team mates showed me what they had browsed at. A sudanese girl fainted out of starvation on her way to a feeding center while just a meter away, landed a vulture waiting for the young girl to die so it can eat her. The photo was taken by a photographer Kevin Carter who committed suicide months after.

"The pain of life overrides the joy to the point that joy does not exist"
Kevin Carter, Fragment of his suicide note

---

It was heartbreaking:(

I scowled because I had no shoes on my feet, until further down the street I saw a man with no feet at all.
Persian proverb

:((

Once there was a grinch and she skipped December:(

Parking Lot

Almond eyes in maroon sedan

Mystic glances from a fetching man

Indeed, he left totie the knot,

How I used to love the guy in the parking lot.

Broken Thoughts

Over lunch yesterday, I had time talking to a friend about how unfair and aweful love is. Well, not specifically love but the effect it has on women and the terrible pain guys caused girls. I dont know. It just came out of my mouth. The fries-dipped-into-sundae moment was not that comforting at all. it was bitterly tasting especially if you were seated amidst a happy crowd, galavanting like there's no tomorrow. urgh!

Relationship, love, guys. Seated a table apart from us are lovers..girl walked out from a guy after dealing with pettish (I assumed) bickering...fretting. Girl masquerading that familiar post-quarrel look. The guy remained seated useless of his possession of a human heart. I guess that was how a conversation with my friend started. Then I started blabbering. I remembered how Dj Gino told on air that guys want to dialogue...always want to dialogue. There was uprising within me. of course, the dj was just totally favoring his co-monkeys. Coming from a past non-closure relationship, I could attest that I've provenly tested immature monkeys who always bang the door as if they were never inside it. I detest John Gray for making us believe that men wants to talk it out at the right time with the right attitude, that men are just focused with coming up with solutions instead of dwelling with a broken barrow. I have waited, cried, fret, pushed, insisted. I got tremendously tired and then labored again for another phase of monotonous waiting, until one day, I managed to move on with disappointments that I have gotten so familiar with little by little. Where have all the guys went when atomic bomb exploded?!

I guess, women are stupid by nature. We know certain things will hurt us but we go ahead aiming what complicates life. Unreluctantly, we shrugged off the idea of pain. We live and entertain all kinds of feelings for the sake of that damn masochistic idea of being more humane. Women are submissive stupids, vulnerable, fragile, emotional. Men are real whores who submit in lying for the major times in their existence. Perfectly insensitive. There are times I am confronted with a mirage of William Parrish in front of me, telling me that "Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. I'm not hearing any heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived." or at some point, I get so blank thinking...wondering if ever we would ever stumble with someone who will care for us the way we wanted to be cared for because the truth is it is difficult to find.They are rare and more often than not, you can just find them in a well-directed film. Bad:(

So to speak, I am besieged with all the feelings in the world. The kind when you have believed you a're okay for the longest time, having tete-a-tete with indifference and then suddenly that floodgate of emotions that you have been trying to resist had opened. My mind signaled a hault but my heart is but a fool that can hardly stop doing things it wanted to do. I really hate this feeling of being emotionally ached because out of somewhere, I can cry and then there is this literal heavy heartbroken pain right in my chest.

I am lonely, drowning in the deepest meaning of the word and I can't swim. I am in pain. Shouldn't the world stop?:(

A DAY OF PRAYER AND ACTION

World Vision announces that October 1 is A Day of Prayer and Action.
On this day, Let's all join everyone to pray for an end to global poverty, disease, and injustice, and speak out against it as what World Vision aims.

World Vision Day of Prayer and Action Prayer Points
Pray together for your community…
: For awareness of needs within your community.
: For courage to be intentional in getting to know your neighbors.
: For opportunities to partner together in advocating for justice.
: For willingness to love your neighbors as yourself.

Praise God for…
: The opportunities that will be presented to you throughout the year that will bring change to your community.
Pray together for our leaders…
: For wisdom for our leaders as they begin to make decisions about where and how to spend money.
: That bold action will be taken to provide the necessary resources to fund interventions that alleviate suffering.
: That policies and laws would be put into place that would promote the cause of the oppressed, both locally and globally.
: For leaders to seek God’s will above their own.

Praise God for…
: The truth that His love and power reign supreme above all the leaders in this world.
Pray together for the hungry…
: For the children who die from hunger every day.
: For wisdom for government leaders who are seeking effective means to address the food crisis.
: For greater efforts to urge Congress to expand hunger, child nutrition, and agriculture development programs to eradicate child hunger worldwide.
: For God’s guidance in showing us how we can help to break the cycle of hunger.

Praise God for…
: The large amount of food aid, agricultural training, nutrition education, and food protection resources provided by World Vision and made possible by donors from around the world.
Pray together for those suffering from HIV and AIDS…
: For the more than 15 million children orphaned and made vulnerable as a result of HIV and AIDS and that those in need would be provided adequate care and support.
: For the millions of people living with HIV and AIDS who have been designated eligible to receive anti-retroviral drugs, but have not yet due to insufficient funds and delays. Pray that they might receive treatment.
: That pregnant mothers who are HIV positive will be able to access the drugs and other measures necessary to help them prevent transmission of the virus to their unborn child or infant.
: For the more than 77,000 caregivers that World Vision has trained and equipped to care for those suffering from HIV and AIDS.

Praise God for…
: The AIDS prevention and care programs that World Vision operates in more than 60 countries.
Pray together for children in slavery and bondage…
: For those children who are taken advantage of and suffer greatly ─ that they would be comforted.
: For those that would exploit or enslave others. Pray for a spiritual breakthrough so that might release their captives and work to prevent the captivity of others.
: For the advocates around the world who are standing against slavery. Pray for their protection from harm by corrupt officials and those who enslave children.
: For World Vision’s programs, that they would continue to help prevent children from falling into slavery and protect and restore those who have survive the ordeal.

Praise God for…
: The many policies put into place over the years to protect children from exploitation and bondage: The Trafficking Victims Protection Act, The PROTECT Act, The Child Soldier Prevention Act.
Pray together for those suffering from malaria…
: That recent efforts focused on ending preventable deaths from malaria by 2015 will be achieved.
: That families threatened by malaria will receive insecticide-treated bed nets and other interventions that they need to protect their families from this killer disease.
: That the difficult economic period will not prevent individuals and governments from responding with the financial resources needed to protect children and help end malaria (more than $6 billion a year).
: That we might see malaria eradicated in our lifetime.

Praise God for…
: The extensive distribution of long-lasting insecticide-treated bed nets to malaria-infected regions around the world, through World Vision.

Let's all join and heartily participate:)

Tayo at si Ondoy

here's an email I received from World Vision. Read on...

Dear Friend, World Vision is rushing emergency supplies to children and families devastated by the catastrophic typhoon that swept through Manila and surrounding provinces in the Philippines before hitting Central Vietnam. Thousands of homes in these areas are damaged or destroyed. Your help is needed now. "The impact of this typhoon on Manila has been shocking," said Elnora Avarientos, World Vision's national director in the Philippines. "Many have lost everything, including bedding, food, education materials, and clothing. The poorest living in slums and settlements are especially badly hit." A child is evacuated from a submerged house during flooding in the outskirts of Bocaue. REUTERS/Erik de Castro World Vision is working with the Philippine Coast Guard and the government disaster response team in Vietnam to distribute aid as quickly as possible. They are dispatching relief by helicopter to some of the hard-to-reach areas. Our emergency response teams hope to reach nearly 150,000 people with food and other relief items in some of the hardest-hit areas in both countries. World Vision is distributing emergency survival kits — including food, blankets, temporary shelter, and clothing — to provide immediate aid to affected children and families. Help provide emergency supplies to victims of Typhoon Ketsana as well as those affected by the earthquake that hit Indonesia and the earthquake/tsunami that hit Samoa. Your support is crucial right now. Thank you, and God bless you for your faithful support in times of need. Rich Stearns President, World Vision U.S. P.S. Please also join me in praying for those in the Philippines as they are bracing for another storm that is scheduled to hit Thursday night or Friday morning.

Let's all find time to help people in dire needs. Lahat ng tao may magagawa. Walang maliit, walang malaki. Lahat ng tulong mahalaga. A simple prayer will do. And it's what matters most. This is not the time for us to take advantage of the situation to display our selfish interests. Wag tayo mamuhunan sa nakapanglulumong sitwasyon ng kapwa natin Pilipino. let's all hold hands to help them stand. Filipinos keep the piesces together. And as heroism unfolds, I am proud to be a Filipino.

Silence...

I can hear the deafening sound of loneliness shouting at me):

Yero-it-it-sikik-sikik
(zero-eight-eight-six-six)

Yesterday, I gave myself the right to be disappointed. Gypsie, a classmate of mine way back second year high school met me somewhere in Pasig so we can talk about her proposal to teach English to a set of Korean kids. I felt somewhat interested so I went and grabbed the opportunity. Anyway, I was thinking this could be a great start to my aching plan of life's major overhaul.

Kevin, the korean who tied up with Gypsie about the entire business seemed to be a kind, smiling guy. It was about five o'clock in the afternoon when I got to talk to him for some sort of interview about myself. Did I make a mess out of it? When I explained things to him I saw puzzled looks left on his face. Maybe because according to my friend, his English fluency isn't that polished yet making him unable to understand me well. ):

Everything ended up with Kevin wanting me to e-mail him my resume (resum as what he pronounced it). There was a tinge of reluctance on his face. The resume thing is still on hold until I get further notice from Gypsie. When I went home, I've got a strong feeling I wouldn't be able to get the job. I was also unsure if I still want it anymore. Disappointment clouded my head although I know I wouldn't be feeling this longer since I find it hard to understand how they pronounce words. At this point, I don't want another stress-inducing job since I intend to fix and heal my wounded emotional aspect. Well, don't get me wrong. I can still manage to handle other kind of pressure and stress but not able to understand Koreans at their first stroke of words is way too stressful on my end since this work requires me communicating with them everyday.

I woke up today feeling a bit of disappointment still but rather thinking that this job is not tailored for me. It's not just meant for me.

Media Suicide

I don't know what went to his mind when Arroyo agreed to do a lIve interview with mareng winnie and igan. The interview had been so transparent to show how his stupid reasons left him dead and humiliating in front of taxpaying filipinos. Ill-gotten wealth is really unexplainable. We should understand why he made a total mess out of this interview. HAhahaha! Indeed, Arroyo's corrupt doings made them richer and richer while majority of the Filipinos become poorer and poorer. Our sacrifice is their gain. They teach us to do some belt-tightening habang nagpapakasasa sila sa pera ng milyon-milyong mamamayan. Thank God, we're wise enough to know. Salamat sa interview na ito.

Ilang bahay pa nga ba meron sila sa ibang bansa na nakatago sa pangalang Arroyo?

I hate Cakes

My friend told me that there's something special about cakes during birthdays. She said, it's the fancy of believing to what they call "ONe candle, one wish.." I couldn't almost relate to the feeling she shared since I hate cakes no matter how beautiful it present itself...anyway, some people made me feel like an icing melting to a bunch of thoughtful thoughts friends baked for me...Here's something that refreshed me after a night of stressful phone calls that always keep coming...

-----Original Message-----
From: "Nicethor Baltazar" <nicethorbaltazar@yahoo.com>
Sent 9/9/2009 9:29:23 AM
To: "Rhods"
Subject: HAppy Bday!!!

Rhods,

Happy bday to u.

Thanks for being there always.

......as a a good friend

.....as an editor..lols.

dami ko natututunan sa u as a writer...specially now binabalik ko na pagsusulat ko through my blog. hope di ka magsawa magedit. nyahehe.

...ingats always! God bless u always

-----------------------------------------------------

One candle, one wish..is it true? I don't know...but someday, in my wishful thinking, I dream of spending the rest of my birthdays with someone who will feel lucky enough for celebrating such a special day with me...someone happier than I am. Maybe, I would love cakes then.

One night of Danger

I never knew the feeling until I witnessed it last night. Horrifying...I left my house around 12 midnight, sleepy and still feeling tired since working graveyard is so stressful. I took a jeep going to Guadalupe. It was not an empty ride. There was a middle-aged woman embracing her bags put on her lap. She was sitting right across me. I remembered even passing her "pamasahe" to the driver and even asked, " sa tulay po kayo?", she shook her head. "sa west lang ako.."West Rembo, for those so many who are not familiar with the place, is just so near where i took the jeep...

Along Pembo, there were 2 guys who took the same jeep where we were in. Ung isa nakasabit while the other one was sitting just an elbow beside me. Well, yeah. I usually sit middle of the jeep but last night, since ayoko mag abot ng pamasahe sa driver dahil super haba ng jeep, I intentionally sit beside that guy...my bag with my jacket clung to it was placed on my lap handsfree.

A few Blocks just before the middle-aged woman took-off the jeep...I don't know....but I instinctively grasped my bag and placed it on the left side of me..opposite that pretentious guy sitting right next to me...and then.."para! para! Para! sigaw nung guy na nakasabit. And then all of a sudden, when I turned my head right of me, the guy beside me incredibly nabbed the middle-aged woman's bag in a jiffy..The snatcher ran fast the narrow street and gone...totally eaten whole by the darkness..The woman was almost in tears. I had goosebumps all over me. Shocking!

Unexplainable...It was as if I had a telepathic mind that night. I realized how lucky and Loved I am. God never failed me in those times that I am unawarely needing His presence. Amazing. He's always right on time. Have I done something good to be blessed with such protection and care? Maybe. I don't know. I just realized that there were unseen angels around us sent by Him to keep us safe.. and the only way for us to send thank you is to be good in His eyes. Wonderful.

The night has pangs, it surfaced dangers. I learned that it would always be better to be keen and observant of the things and people around you. Maybe, next time I would go to work far earlier than devil's time. Our safety is something God wants us to be enveloped with.

Last night was one of those days when I could say that I have fully seen HIm. After all, that woman could have been me.

Evanescent

It is because of you why I am acutely aware of how unhappy I am...:(